whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
