dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
