im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
