I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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