you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
