I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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