If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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