she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
