all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
