I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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