I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize