I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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