What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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