he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
