How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
