u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
