You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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