I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
