just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
