Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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