Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
