That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
