how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize