2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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