In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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