6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My feet surprised me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
