I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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