Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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(301): View more from Maryland

It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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(406): View more from Montana

Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break

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(631): View more from New York

I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.

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