i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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