i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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