Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
