is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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