you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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