We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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