but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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