the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
