Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
