I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
