The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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