Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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