ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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