I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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