everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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