member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
