One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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