First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize