It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
