Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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