dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
