is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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