Slut skills are useful in every country.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
