...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
