the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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