i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
