Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This house was built for laser tag.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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