What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So vagazzling was a success
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
