I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
