Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
