Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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