So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
