I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
