you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize