if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
