I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
