Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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