what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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