Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
