booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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