We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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